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good bye   
10:55am 31/12/2005
  I HAVE SWITCHED TO XANGA...BECAUSE IT'S COOLER.

WWW.XANGA.COM/LUCINDA_HARRIS

add meeeeeeeeeee. & i'm pretty sure you can still
leave comments if you don't have one. XD

see ya on the flip side, <3 ricccccca		  
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hmmm...   
09:31pm 28/12/2005
 
mood: calm
music: Weezer - Girlfriend
well, it's been..what, a few months or so since i've updated this thing?

i don't even know why i keep updating, no one reads this...

but, just in case somone happens to stumble across this...i'll give a quick update on my life. it's nothing exciting.


about 7 weeks ago, my brother's girlfriend gave birth to a baby boy. i now have a nephew, & i love him with all my heart.

my mom & dad's divorce was finalized a month ago.

my christmas pretty much sucked ass. i didn't get anything i wanted...well, except a laptop. but i wanted a digital camera, & didn't get one, instead everyone got me make up and brushes and shit. they could've bought a digi cam if they wouldn't have bought all the useless shit they did.

i've been happy..surprised? yeah..not all gloomy emo rica. the only time my depression really gets to me is at night, when i'm alone...thats when all the thoughts & memories play through my head. then i just end up crying myself to sleep...whaaaaaaaaatever. XD

i miss a loooooooootttt of you guys. admit it, you miss me too. XD muhahaha.

well, nothing more to say atm, sooooo i'm going to waste uselful brain cells on a video game...indigo prophecy on ps2. it owns. i demand you play it. mmk, rica outtttttt. <3

Ps. if anyone wants to talk to moi, feel free to IM me.

AIM -- ta1nt3d x l0v3 OR lucinda x harris (yes, obsessed with the charector..)
MSN -- blackxraynbow@hotmail.com
YIM -- pathetically_yours

<3333		  
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07:27pm 21/11/2005
  today was the BEST day ever.

I was in my culinary arts class today, & we're getting in uniform & stuff. because, we make lunch and serve the teachers. anyway-so we're in the lunch room, & the teachers come in & tell us that they're serving US today! I was totally surprised! so, we all sat together & ate turkey, mashed potatoes & green beans, whilst the teachers served us. THEN, after they take our plates, they bring out a cake. it was outta control. it was so awesome. lol. I just <3 my school. haha.

man. & now my dad just made us all pancakes. I'm deff. not eating thanksgiving, stoopid food. =p		  
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quickie.   
09:22pm 14/11/2005
 

ok, so i bet half of you forgot what i look like, right? lol

quick pic of me, i was at school IAN took it. candid shot. i felt like a celeb.

haha.

i wish.

 

oh AND HERE IS MY WONDERFUL WIFE WHO I LOVE MORE THAN...LLAMAS!!!!!

oh wait, heres a pic of me and my ex, sarah at prom.

  
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carnival madness   
10:44pm 12/11/2005
  ok, I just got back from the november fest with jesse. it was fun. haha. waiting 2 hours on the side of the road waiting for my dad to come pick us up. lol EXCITING.

I have to go to the doctor next week because I had my first ever seizer. that was fucking scary as hell. I was at sarahs house when it happend. & when I woke up, her aunt was shoving bread & water down my throat but I couldn't chew because my jaw was locked. I was so scared. they said its because of my anerexia. I didn't eat for 3 days & then I did drugs. pretty dumb, I know. but no one cares so I'm shutting up about it.

my bday is next month & idk what to do. I was gunna fly to NY buuuuuut I doubt it. so I might go to chicago with my mom. woo. I CAN STALK OPRAH.

hmm..OH my bros g/f had the baby. he's so cuuuute. his name is cam'den. ill post pics when I get near a comp. all I have is my cell.

ok, I'm going to bed.		  
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paaaiiin   
11:44pm 07/11/2005
  oh jesus.

my smart ass just HAD to get my rongue pierced. I only had it for a day, & I just took it out. & its closed up already. he pierced it too far back & used a fake barbell. I'm so pissed.

now my tongue is swollen & sore & I'm still pissed.

ok, so I'm watching jennifer aniston on letterman. I'm DYING to see derailed. its R so I have to sneak in fri. OMG SHE'S SO HOT.

ok-im going to go drool over jen & be pissed about my tongue. haha.

nighty-o.		  
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09:02pm 05/11/2005
  ok, I just updated like 5 hours ago, ( I think it posted twice ) but I have so many thoughts I need to get out.

I'm at my moms still, she took me to a bar tonight. I feel sick. I had a michelob light & a bud light. & now I'm smoking a cig thinking about how much I want to cry & throw up..& die.

I'm sad. & lonley. I miss sarah so fxcking much. I still don't know why she left me. I loved her so much. she was the only think I wanted to live for. then she killed me.

I'm pathetic. I hate girls right now. & guys don't even like me. I swear I'm a guy repelent or some shit.

I'm going to die alone. but really, don't we all die alone?

I'm I depressing you yet? oh well.

I miss a lot of you. emma, kristina, nitza, everyone.

I feel like shit because I feel like I ditched you all or something. I'm horrible. I should die.

I don't want to go home. its always yelling & screaming. I'm sick of it all. I'm sick of cutting because of it. I have other lame shit to cut over. god.

I can't wait till I move in with my mom. I feel loved & wanted here. I feel like I'm somebody. I feel LOVE here.

I have to throw up. I'm making myself sick. I want to eat & I won't allow myself. I looked at my wrist & want to cut more because of it. I have 23 new cuts on my wrist & 4 on my stomach. I don't care what you guys think. I'm sick of people telling me to stop cutting. you don't understand. its like a drug for me & I'm addicted.

*sigh*

my fingers hurt from typing. (I'm on the cell). I'm going to bed.

goodnight.		  
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03:27pm 05/11/2005
  holly shite. (yes, with an 'e')

I'm fiinaaallly updating. only cuz my
wife is making me. haha.

I'm on my cell so I'm not writing much.

here's an outline of what's happend to me lately:

* sarah & I broke up. she started seeing someone else 2 days later. broke up. & now she's going out with someone else. w.h.o.r.e?
* my dad & his gf are always fxcking fighting. I'm sick of it. I'm at my moms now, so I'm pretty happy.
* I have a's on my report card, finally.
* I'm flying to NY (alone ahh) on my bday 2 see my dahhling wife. & possibly see my emmykins. =)
* & I get my tongue pierced 2morrow. woop

that's some shite, haha.

hmm..I don't think anyones gunna read this, lol.

if u doooo....

I miss u all & sorry I quit talking to almost everyone ( kristina, emma, nitza etc.) I <3 u all lots.		  
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03:27pm 05/11/2005
  holly shite. (yes, with an 'e')

I'm fiinaaallly updating. only cuz my
wife is making me. haha.

I'm on my cell so I'm not writing much.

here's an outline of what's happend to me lately:

* sarah & I broke up. she started seeing someone else 2 days later. broke up. & now she's going out with someone else. w.h.o.r.e?
* my dad & his gf are always fxcking fighting. I'm sick of it. I'm at my moms now, so I'm pretty happy.
* I have a's on my report card, finally.
* I'm flying to NY (alone ahh) on my bday 2 see my dahhling wife. & possibly see my emmykins. =)

that's some shite, haha.

hmm..I don't think anyones gunna read this, lol.

if u doooo....

I miss u all & sorry I quit talking to almost everyone ( kristina, emma, nitza etc.) I <3 u all lots.		  
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09:58pm 22/08/2005
 
mood: crappy
music: Alexz Johnson // Skin
ya know...it's pretty damn pathetic when you sit at home and think of ways to kill your self for 4 hours. yes, thats what i did today. because of my LOVLEY fxcking dad. oh how i just fxcking love him. YEAH. RIGHT.

grrr, gxddxmnit. i hate living in this hell hole. i hate my damn step mom, i hate everyone in this god forsaken house. I FXCKING HATE EVERYONE! *breathes*

WOOOW. that felt good to get out. =)

oh, and another thing. me and my "significate other" might be breaking up. i don't know the whole 411 yet, but i can tell its coming.

and if we do split. i will go madly insane, and that just might be my breaking point...and i just might do deadly things to myself. tehehe. fun.

hmm, ok, so i hate not having anyone to talk to. i IMed ms o. about 2 hours ago and she said "im not here". so ya know, shes just like everyone else...they don't care if i hold in all my thoughts and then one day explode and kill myself...then they'll wonder "omg! why did she kill herself?!" idiots.

hmmp. was there anything else i wanted to vent?? *thinks* nope, i dont think so..

OHHH!!! did i ever tell you guys about thursday night?? oh well if i did.

ahem. so thursday night was open house. my mom "couldnt make it". and my dad and step mom just didnt care, so they didnt go. ((lovley hmm??)) anyway, so ms owens and mrs jay go. i guess they got there before me, because i spent like 10 minutes looking for them when i ran into them in the hall way...anywho-they get food. eat. then leave. nice, eh? OH! then, while they were eating mrs jay was like "why don't you eat?" (everyone knows about my anerexic problem right? well, ya do now!) and i was like "i dont like food" and she said something like if you dont eat you'll die, then she says "do you want to die?" i giggled my nervous giggle and looked at miss owens, who had that "whatever" look on her face, so i just shrugged and changed the topic. gnfdjgahdfagud. people suck monkey balls. hairy ones. aha.

well kiddos. im going to go. i don't think you guys want me to vent anymore. lol.

<3		  
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12:48am 18/08/2005
 
mood: tired

Ahem. 2nd entry. It's kinda exciting. haha.

Ok,well yeah, i was having a really shitty day untill Kelly &hearts; IMed me. She made me feel better. YAY.

Yeah so....tomorrow (today, whatever, its passed 12 am) is my Open House at school. Which is weird because I started school like 2 weeks ago. lol. anyway-im cooking and all that good stuff, because im cool and in culinary arts..dont be hate'n because you know im gunna be a rich biotch. =)

Well, I was really looking forward to my mom coming, but as usual, she can't make it. what.ev.er.

SO, im taking my dad and my step mom and miss owens. (teheheheheh) miss o is "my older sister" because i can only bring "family members". how f-ed up is that?! oh well, as long as she doesnt cancel im a happy llama.

On another note...

 

OMFG. HAVE I MISSED YOU GUYS!!

 

DID ANYONE FREAKING MISS ME?! ANYONE?! no? ok, thats cool. =P

 

well kiddos, its almost 1 am and i have to get my ass to sleep. sooo, i will update tomorrow or whatever. mmkay? mmkay, so long and good night. &hearts;

 

  
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10:15pm 15/08/2005
 
mood: calm
music: Marilyn Manson // Tainted love

well, im back. i dont know why, because half of my "friends" don't even speak to me anymore.

it's my fault though, i take all the blame..as usual.

i'm not going to be how i used to be; getting pissed off because no one ever commented. which i don't blame anyone for not commenting, because all i ever did is complain and bitch all the time.

i wont be doing that anymore...atleast, i'll try not to.

comment if you want to be my friend, and if you already are, then...good for you. =)

 

  
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  xricax
 
 

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